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- Putt’s Law
Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
- Low Key 43rd
No one was here to celebrate with us. That’s just fine. The two of us drove to Balboa Park and took in their “Forging a Legacy: 15 Years of Landmark Acquisitions.” It was impressive. We thought of Maren Hicks and Meryl Erlringer throughout.
We dined at Panama 66 next door, the al fresco restaurant and, as usual, sat at the bar. We ordered the charcuterie board with meat and cheese. i had a sauvignon blanc and Maureen added a tomato bisque with her water.
Great choices.
And then, an interlude demonstrated one of the reasons i love her. She had pushed the cup of bisque toward the bar front as we continued. i noticed a June bug dashing about and annoying the waitress taking orders. The bug then headed for us and dove into the tomato bisque. i pointed the poor thing out to Maureen. It was covered with the tomato bisque and was upside down in the cup.
Maureen scooped it up with her spoon and began to wipe it off with a wet napkin. The June bug fell to the floor. Maureen got off of her bar stool, picked up the struggling bug, and washed him off with water and again applied a wet towel.
When it did not fly, Maureen took it out to the sculpture garden in the rear of the dining area, found a bush and placed the befuddled June bug on bush leaf.
She worried about that bug being okay all the way home. Just another reason to love her.
- Big Day…43 years ago
In March 1982. i was the Weapons Officer of the USS Okinawa (LPH 3) home ported in San Diego. The Weapons Officer billet was titled “First Lieutenant” on other amphibious helicopter carriers. Regardless, it meant i was charge in pretty much everything not aviation, engineering, operations, or supply related.
One of those responsibilities was being in charge of the quarterdeck where all visitors entered the ship. From previous regimes, we had a large red torah that spanned the entrance into the helicopter deck below the flight deck. It was impressive, but Captain Dave Rogers called me to his cabin one afternoon. “Jim, I want our quarterdeck to be the best quarterdeck on the base. I want it to be the most impressive and known to be the best by everyone home ported here.”
I, of course, replied, “Aye, Aye, Sir!”
i discussed how we could make the quarterdeck renowned across the waterfront with my division officers and Boatswain Warrant Officer 4 (CWO4) Ellis. The Bosun had a bit of a beer gut. He was married to a wonderful Filipino woman who created a lovely macramé lanyard for the boatswain pipe the bosun gave me when i was transferred. She was about 4’8″ and almost that wide. Great lady, just a bit wide.
My team came up with the idea of a sitting area next to the quarterdeck. At the time, when guests or visitors came aboard, they had to wait for the watch to contact whomever they were there to see. That sailor or officer would have to come to the quarterdeck to escort the visitor. Often, the time it took to get to the quarterdeck was lengthy. The visitor had to stand around in a very industrial setting until his escort arrived.
So we decided we could create a sitting area with panels, some chairs, maybe a sofa, and hang framed photographs about the Oki on the walls. That way, the visitor wouldn’t have to stand around in the working bay of the helicopter deck. Great idea.
We had to decide where and how to get panels. Since the Bosun and his first class were going to make a supply run Friday, the next day, i asked them to check out panels while they were on their run. Liberty call was early and the Bosun and his first class left around 1300. They were dressed in their standard liberty civies. The Bosun had on Levis with a blue tee shirt with his thick black hair combed back as much as it could to resemble a ducktail. His first class had on his biker’s jeans, white tee shirt with a leather jacket and a silver chain dangling down from the jeans. He had straw blond hair also combed back and the gap of a missing tooth was the final touch. They left for their mission.
Around 1800, i had a bunch of paperwork to work through and continued after liberty call. The bosun came into the office with several boxes of toilet paper (i never understood why he didn’t get it through supply).
“i didn’t think you would be coming back to the ship, Bosun,” i remarked.
“Well, i didn’t want to keep this stuff at home over the weekend,” he replied.
“Did you find any panels?”
“Well sir, we went to Dixieline (a local lumber and home center). They didn’t have them, but they told us to go to Parron-Hall.”
“Parron-Hall?” i puzzled.
“Yes sir. They’re an office furniture place downtown across from the county admin building. We went there, but that place was way too classy for us. They had desks in the showroom worth more than my house.
“So, you are gonna have to go down there and see about them panels.”
Aww, come on, Bosun, i have a lot on my plate.”
“No sir, you are gonna have to go down there. It’s on Ash Street.”
Then he added, ” You know sir, the woman who waited on us was really pretty. i noticed she didn’t have a ring on her finger. i’m pretty sure she’s single.
“And she’s way too skinny for me.”
Epilogue
Midday on the next Monday, i drove down to Parron-Hall Office Materials. i asked the receptionist to see the person who had given her business card to Bosun. i stood at the entrance to the showroom. Maureen came walking across the show room with the sun shining in the window behind her (think Glenn Close in “The Natural,” only prettier). She claims i had my piss cutter on my head. That, of course, is not correct: i am a country boy from Lebanon, Tennessee raised correctly by my parents, Army ROTC at Castle Heights, a Naval career, and, by the way, an officer and a gentleman. My hat was off.
We had numerous discussions about the panels, which required about four or five “business” lunches over the five or six weeks for the panels to arrive. When the deal was done, i asked for that date to see John Lee Hooker at the Belly Up Tavern and added a request to see Doc Watson at the venue on the following Monday. We attended several events over the summer including sailing with JD in the “Fly a Kite” race where we became (or at least JD became) a legend. We went out to dinner too many times to count.
Then, on July 30, 1983, we were married in her father’s backyard.
- An Everlasting “Thank You”
Tomorrow, Maureen and the goofy guy celebrate their forty-third wedding anniversary.
i need to thank her for about…oh, a million things. In a following post, i shall rerun the story of how we met. It had to be the Navy’s form of fate.
Over 43 years of being together (we actually met in March 1982), we both have learned a lot of things about each other, about our relatives and friends, and about life.
A constant in that learning is change.
The constant and never ending defiance of change is our love for each other. That has changed too. Our love has moved through many phases, and we still get upset when we disagree. The funny thing is we now know each other so well, we understand what is happening and accept our differences.
Our celebrating of this year’s event began on Sunday with lunch at one of our all-time favorite dining places (of which there are many: dining out has been a mainstay of our relationship since we met), The Artifact, located in the Mengei Museum — mengei means “art of the people” — is flat amazing in creativeness in its cuisine, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, as well as international wines.
After lunch, we walked over to the “Old Globe” theater where we saw “Cyrano,” a modern adaptation of Edmond Rostands’ 1897 drama, “Cyrano de Bergerac.” Most folks nowadays know it from Steve Martin’s 1987 romantic comedy “Roxanne.” This theater in the round production captured what we both felt was the spirit of Rostand’s original drama.
It was wonderful. Both of us left feeling emotional, good.
Tomorrow, we will go to the Museum of Art to take in their exhibit of some of their most impressive acquisitions of art over the past 15 years. Then, we will lunch at another favorite dining place and come home.
As i noted earlier, we have learned a lot over 43 years. One is at our age to do too much to celebrate, but enough to enjoy and embrace.
To conclude, one of the things i’ve learned is that no other woman could have put up with this old mariner and goofy guy. We plan for it to stay that way.
Happy 43rd Anniversary, Maureen, and thank you.
These are the wedding vows my brother Joe gave at our wedding at her father’s home in Lemon Grove, California, July 30, 1983:
We are here today to celebrate a union.
Maureen and Jim have traveled different paths to meet at the opportune place to become a perfect union. Their experiences of the past have contributed to their love being what it is. Their love began as a friendship and grew far beyond what neither had dreamed possible.
They wish today to be a celebration, a joyous day of laughter and warmth; they wish to share their elation of finding each other with those here today. They hope the emotion of gladness they feel will overflow, and others can feel the wonderment and peace of togetherness that they share.
The light of love lit by Jim and Maureen has allowed them insight into previously unseen corners of their lives and to see down corridors of their future. This light has also revealed a depth of emotion that defies any explanation of extent. It has cast the light of clarity on relations with other people important in their lives, redefining and deepening those relationships. In their relationship with each other, this light of love has allowed them to experience a depth of feeling and love coexisting with an openness and sharing that they have not attained before.
This union does not create walls but invites freedom to Maureen and Jim to be who they are with each other and with others with whom they have shared. This wedding is a symbol, an announcement, a consecration of a relationship that has been blessed as a perfect union by the spirit and power that transcends us all.
Jim and Maureen, do you promise to share your joys, your insights and moments of beauty with each other? Do you promise to continue to love each other with a joy that is limitless in time and space? Will you continue to hold each other close in body and spirit? Do you promise to support each other without inhibitions or reservations in all of your endeavors and moments of reflections, both high and low? And do you promise that your friendship with each other, from which this love has grown, and will continue with the same openness, depth and fervor as it began?
This ring is a permanent symbol of this union. It signifies the love, adoration, and friendship that abounds between these two people. Its never-ending circle is a symbol of the extent of Maureen and Jim’s love.
It should be remembered that it is a symbol and cannot completely capture or represent the total love and commitment these two have for each other.
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord let his face shine upon you and give you peace.
- Schopenhauer’s Law of Entropy
If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage; if you put a spoonful of sewage into a barrel full of wine, you get…sewage.
Still my favorite.
